The short answer
The best gift ideas for in-laws are thoughtful but low-risk: good food and drink, something for the house, or an experience for the two of them. Ask your partner what their parents love, use and already have, and give a joint present if you can. Avoid anything too personal, like clothes or perfume, and jokes that might not land.
Buying for your partner’s parents is a particular kind of test. The best gift ideas for in-laws are thoughtful but low-risk: presents that show real effort without guessing at anything too personal. Your secret weapon is sitting next to you. It’s their family, and their family’s taste, you’re shopping for, so enlist your partner.
Ask your partner these questions first
Working out what to get your in-laws takes ten minutes and a cup of tea with your partner. Ask:
- What did we give them last year that they loved, and what went straight in a cupboard?
- What does a perfect weekend look like for each of them?
- Is there anything they’ve been meaning to replace, or keep borrowing from the neighbours?
- Do they drink, and what? Is there anything they don’t eat?
- What does your family usually spend, and do couples give one joint present?
- Is there a family joke I should know about, or definitely avoid?
Ollie’s tipTell me what went in the cupboard last year. It’s as useful to me as what they loved.
Gifts for the whole household
One lovely present for both of them often beats two separate ones. Steffel and Le Boeuf (2014, Journal of Consumer Research) found that when shopping for several people, givers pick a different gift for each, even when one gift everyone would like better was available. There’s more in what the research says about gifts.
A box of specialities from where you live
Whatever your area is known for, from cider to oatcakes to smoked fish, with a note on where each came from.
Heritage apple tree for their garden
Choose an old variety from their county. It will fruit for years, and every autumn crumble is a small thank-you.
Stoneware serving platter from a small pottery
Big enough for the Christmas roast and every family gathering after it. Ask your partner about the colours in their kitchen.
A board game the whole family can play after lunch
Quick to learn, fun from eight to eighty, and a way to become part of a new family tradition.
A night out for the two of them
Theatre tickets and dinner somewhere nice, with no guests or grandchildren to look after.
Gift ideas for your mother-in-law
Trio of small-batch preserves
A bramble jelly, a spiced plum jam and a jar of lemon curd. Delicious, low-risk and gone by spring.
Houseplant in a hand-thrown pot
Alive, lasting and free of sizing worries. A trailing plant looks lovely on a kitchen shelf.
Cookbook from a place she loves to visit
For the island or city she goes back to every year. Thoughtful without being personal.
Wreath-making workshop for the two of you
A morning of greenery and mince pies, and she goes home with a wreath for her front door.
Gift ideas for your father-in-law
Reproduction of an old map of his village
He’ll spot where the station was and which fields became houses, and settle a few family arguments.
Wooden cribbage board
Hand-made in walnut or oak, for the card games that start after Christmas lunch.
Shoe-care kit with horsehair brushes
For the man who polishes his shoes on a Sunday evening. A ritual deserves proper kit.
Stovetop coffee pot and beans from a small roaster
Café-strength coffee on the hob, and a bag of beans to get him started.
Need more? Many of our gift ideas for mum and gift ideas for dad work for in-laws too; just leave the most sentimental ones to your partner. For in-laws who are hard to buy for, try our ideas for someone who has everything.
Your first Christmas with the in-laws
Christmas gifts for in-laws come with unwritten rules, especially the first time. These keep things easy:
- Bring a gift for the host on top of any presents: something for the table, like a panettone, a good bottle or chocolates for after lunch.
- Give jointly with your partner. One present from you both, chosen with their help, is normal in lots of families.
- Don’t overspend. An extravagant present can make everyone else’s look small. Match the family’s usual level.
- Don’t get too personal. Save the sentimental and the jokey until you know them better.
- Offer to help. Peeling the sprouts is its own kind of present.
If the family does a Secret Santa, our Secret Santa ideas will help. To plan everyone’s presents at once, try the Christmas gift planner.
Gift ideas for in-laws by budget
| Budget | Ideas |
|---|---|
| Under £20 | Small-batch preserves, a panettone for the host, a bag of beans from a small roaster, a pocket book of card games |
| £20–£50 | A box of local specialities, a heritage apple tree, a cookbook, a cribbage board, an old map of his village |
| £50–£100 | A stoneware serving platter, a wreath-making workshop, a stovetop coffee pot with three months of beans |
| £100 and up | A night out for the two of them, or a joint present with your partner’s siblings |
What not to buy your in-laws
- Anything too personal: clothes, perfume, jewellery and self-help books. Sizes, scents and hints are all minefields.
- Jokes that might not land. The mug your partner finds hilarious may not survive the trip to their kitchen.
- Anything implying a flaw. Anti-ageing cream, a diet book or a beginner’s guide to their phone will be remembered, and not fondly.
- Competing with a tradition. If she makes the Christmas pudding, don’t arrive with a shop-bought one.
How Ollie helps with presents for your in-laws
Ollie works best with your partner’s knowledge. Add each in-law to your Christmas list, described in your partner’s words, with a budget for the list. Here’s an example:
My mother-in-law, 66. Sings in a choir, grows sweet peas, collects blue-and-white china. Nothing to wear. About £40.
A singer with a sweet-pea patch? Low-risk doesn’t have to mean boring. I’d start with:
- Something for the garden she’ll use every summer
- A treat she can share with the choir after rehearsal
- A small, lovely piece for the blue-and-white collection
Ollie’s tipPut both of them on your Christmas list and add your partner’s notes. The more they tell me, the less guessing you do.
Ollie decides what kinds of present would suit each of them, then searches thousands of independent shops for real products that are in stock, deliver to your country and fit the budget, and explains every pick. Whatever you keep or pass on steers his next search for that person, on any occasion. You buy from the shop itself, nobody pays to appear in his picks, and one yearly plan covers the whole family.
Add your in-laws to your Christmas list with your partner’s notes, and Ollie will find thoughtful, low-risk presents that are in stock and within budget.
Try Ollie freeCommon questions
How much should you spend on your in-laws?
Roughly what the family usually spends on each other, which your partner can tell you. A good rule of thumb is to spend about the same as you would on your own parents, so neither side feels short-changed. A joint present from both of you counts as one gift, which helps. In your first year, overspending can be as awkward as underspending.
Should you give your in-laws a joint present with your partner?
Usually, yes. A present from both of you is normal in lots of families, lets your partner lead on their parents’ taste, and avoids two gifts competing for attention. Choose it together, sign the card from you both, and add a small touch of your own if you like, such as a box of specialities from where you live.
What do you get in-laws who have everything?
Things they’ll use up or do, rather than keep. Good food and drink from where you live, a night out for the two of them, a fruit tree for the garden or a board game for family gatherings all work. Ask your partner what their parents have enjoyed recently, not what they need: people who have everything rarely need anything.
What should you bring when you stay with your in-laws for Christmas?
A host gift as well as the presents: something for the table, like a panettone, a good bottle or chocolates for after lunch. It also helps to offer a contribution to the meals, such as cooking breakfast on Boxing Day. Check with your partner first, so you don’t accidentally clash with a family tradition.
What should you take when meeting your partner’s parents for the first time?
Something small and easy to receive: a plant, good chocolates, or a bottle of something if they drink (ask your partner which). The aim is to say thank you for having me, not to impress, so keep it modest and avoid anything personal. A handwritten thank-you note afterwards is often remembered for longer than the gift itself.